192.5 Blahhh! Well, it happens. Can't tell you I did anything wrong or different. It is part of the process.
Food: Breakfast-Green Shake. Couple oranges, 1 banana I think. Lunch was a bean hamburger patty and a couple of strawberries. Dinner was veggie lasagna. Had some grapes too. And let's not forget the diet coke.
Exercise-What is your best guess?
Mood: Tired but good.
Have a great day!
Saturday, March 31, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
192
192.0 Seems pretty boring. Not nearly as boring as going up or not moving!
Grand kids are here along with my daughter that has been doing all the fantastic cooking. The one yr old, Vander, is cutting a tooth and has been running a fever. The 3 yr old got really sick too with congestion, cough and fever. So she was up a lot last night crying. 10:30 PM found me heading to Walmart for sick supplies (always worse at night). So it was a very late night. The kids are doing better today.
I did pretty good too. The tendency was still there. I mean after all, it was 11:30 pm and I was at Walmart and the candy bars where right there at the register. I also ended up going all over the store for things I have not needed to find for decades. So I passed my biggest challenge, those pink and white frosted animal cookies, in convenient displays, all over the store. I PASSED without touching! It was still a temptation, but easier than Monday.
Food: Two fried eggs in the morning. I left at 6 am and the blender would have woken the kids. I had several oranges and I think 3, maybe 4 bananas throughout the day. I had 4 oz of meat for lunch along with one of those bananas. Dinner was 2 whole wheat English Muffins with Turkey salami and tomatoes and other stuff, kind of a low cal personal pizza, courtesy of Sandi. (Our little Chef is leaving today, if she got enough sleep to drive.)
Exercise: None. Unless you count driving all over.....none.
Mood: Yesterday was rough. Not because of depression. Sometimes life just happens. Sometimes dealing with life is just a bit tough. Like many people, we have things going on in our life that if we had our "rathers", would not be happening. And facing those challenges with honesty and making hard decisions is very upsetting. You want the "good" to continue. If you are lucky (insert blessed) enough to live a long life, what I considered good in my 20's will not be the good I see in my later years.
I will be very open here. But I will only be open with me personally and sometimes when my life involves others, I will need to not be specific. So I am not trying to be mysterious, just trying to be fair. I am blessed that my life is entangled with others. I would not have it any other way.
Really what I am talking about is just life and the progression of life. When I was 20, I could expect a certain level of health and physical ability. I was blessed to have that. 30 was a change, 40 and so on. Made worse by my personal choices. I am glad I did not make worse choices, but not happy with myself about the ones I did make.
Well I KNOW 53 is young. In fact, 93 is looking younger every day. The fact is, things are changing and we have things to face. Add to that changes in life like retirement, insurance, housing needs and so forth.
Yesterday was one of those days. Today is a new day. In fact, Today is my beautiful sisters 50th birthday! She will not read this or Facebook. But I celebrate her joining me in this fabulous decade! I truly am loving the 50's! If you are not here yet, just wait, you will LOVE it!!!!!
Grand kids are here along with my daughter that has been doing all the fantastic cooking. The one yr old, Vander, is cutting a tooth and has been running a fever. The 3 yr old got really sick too with congestion, cough and fever. So she was up a lot last night crying. 10:30 PM found me heading to Walmart for sick supplies (always worse at night). So it was a very late night. The kids are doing better today.
I did pretty good too. The tendency was still there. I mean after all, it was 11:30 pm and I was at Walmart and the candy bars where right there at the register. I also ended up going all over the store for things I have not needed to find for decades. So I passed my biggest challenge, those pink and white frosted animal cookies, in convenient displays, all over the store. I PASSED without touching! It was still a temptation, but easier than Monday.
Food: Two fried eggs in the morning. I left at 6 am and the blender would have woken the kids. I had several oranges and I think 3, maybe 4 bananas throughout the day. I had 4 oz of meat for lunch along with one of those bananas. Dinner was 2 whole wheat English Muffins with Turkey salami and tomatoes and other stuff, kind of a low cal personal pizza, courtesy of Sandi. (Our little Chef is leaving today, if she got enough sleep to drive.)
Exercise: None. Unless you count driving all over.....none.
Mood: Yesterday was rough. Not because of depression. Sometimes life just happens. Sometimes dealing with life is just a bit tough. Like many people, we have things going on in our life that if we had our "rathers", would not be happening. And facing those challenges with honesty and making hard decisions is very upsetting. You want the "good" to continue. If you are lucky (insert blessed) enough to live a long life, what I considered good in my 20's will not be the good I see in my later years.
I will be very open here. But I will only be open with me personally and sometimes when my life involves others, I will need to not be specific. So I am not trying to be mysterious, just trying to be fair. I am blessed that my life is entangled with others. I would not have it any other way.
Really what I am talking about is just life and the progression of life. When I was 20, I could expect a certain level of health and physical ability. I was blessed to have that. 30 was a change, 40 and so on. Made worse by my personal choices. I am glad I did not make worse choices, but not happy with myself about the ones I did make.
Well I KNOW 53 is young. In fact, 93 is looking younger every day. The fact is, things are changing and we have things to face. Add to that changes in life like retirement, insurance, housing needs and so forth.
Yesterday was one of those days. Today is a new day. In fact, Today is my beautiful sisters 50th birthday! She will not read this or Facebook. But I celebrate her joining me in this fabulous decade! I truly am loving the 50's! If you are not here yet, just wait, you will LOVE it!!!!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
193.0
193.0 That is half a pound. No sleep last night so I am surprised I lost any. Sometimes I get something in my head and it keeps me up all night thinking about it!
Food: I looked at what I had written down for the last post and it looked like I was trying to starve myself to death! Not true. I am not counting calories, but average 1200 to 1500 per day. I left off things like the stir fried mushrooms and peppers. It is hard to remember every single thing you ate! The spinach shake is a couple hundred calories and some great protein, fiber and all those vitamins that spinach and strawberries give you. Yesterday I had the shake, 1 diet coke because I did not have any cash on me. About a 4 oz steak for lunch. 3 oranges, 2 bananas. Some fresh strawberries. And Sandi made an incredible veggie lasagna! It was pretty incredible. Man am I going to miss her when she goes home! So anyway, likely on the higher side of the calories yesterday.
Exercise: Mmmm, did not even "jump" to any conclusions. I will do what I can till all the kids are home and our life is back to boring Ron and I.
Mood: Pretty good. Getting a lot of energy and excited about work and play again. Also very excited about a couple new listings I have. Really Nice!
Reality Check: Had a friend talk to me about a new health drink. Sounded really good. People are losing weight, feeling better and ... well, you know all of it.
I thought about it. I KNOW I would lose weight and quickly. I am now and you see what I am doing. The point is, I want to CHANGE how I live and therefore, my weight for life. If I am on the next great drink or diet or fad, it WILL work! But only until I go back to my "real" life and old habits and that will happen.
So that was the decision I started with and I am sticking with. The general idea is stay away from as much processed stuff as I can. Stay as close to the "original" product as possible. That is the basic plan. I eat more veggies than anything else. Fruit is next then protein. Everything else is minimal. I take vitamins and minerals because on any given day I am likely short on something. However, it won't be anything to do with green veggies!
You already know I fall off the wagon and gain. I was down to 189.5. I will get there and pass it again. The point is, I do better, feel better and am forming new habits. The bad times are shorter and inflict less damage. I am 53. It took a long time to get where I am. It will take some time to get back to a healthy weight and for the first time in my life, eat healthily for life.
It is nearly 6:00 AM. Just so you know, it comes much slower when you fail to sleep, but it still shows up.
Have a great day and thank you for reading!
Food: I looked at what I had written down for the last post and it looked like I was trying to starve myself to death! Not true. I am not counting calories, but average 1200 to 1500 per day. I left off things like the stir fried mushrooms and peppers. It is hard to remember every single thing you ate! The spinach shake is a couple hundred calories and some great protein, fiber and all those vitamins that spinach and strawberries give you. Yesterday I had the shake, 1 diet coke because I did not have any cash on me. About a 4 oz steak for lunch. 3 oranges, 2 bananas. Some fresh strawberries. And Sandi made an incredible veggie lasagna! It was pretty incredible. Man am I going to miss her when she goes home! So anyway, likely on the higher side of the calories yesterday.
Exercise: Mmmm, did not even "jump" to any conclusions. I will do what I can till all the kids are home and our life is back to boring Ron and I.
Mood: Pretty good. Getting a lot of energy and excited about work and play again. Also very excited about a couple new listings I have. Really Nice!
Reality Check: Had a friend talk to me about a new health drink. Sounded really good. People are losing weight, feeling better and ... well, you know all of it.
I thought about it. I KNOW I would lose weight and quickly. I am now and you see what I am doing. The point is, I want to CHANGE how I live and therefore, my weight for life. If I am on the next great drink or diet or fad, it WILL work! But only until I go back to my "real" life and old habits and that will happen.
So that was the decision I started with and I am sticking with. The general idea is stay away from as much processed stuff as I can. Stay as close to the "original" product as possible. That is the basic plan. I eat more veggies than anything else. Fruit is next then protein. Everything else is minimal. I take vitamins and minerals because on any given day I am likely short on something. However, it won't be anything to do with green veggies!
You already know I fall off the wagon and gain. I was down to 189.5. I will get there and pass it again. The point is, I do better, feel better and am forming new habits. The bad times are shorter and inflict less damage. I am 53. It took a long time to get where I am. It will take some time to get back to a healthy weight and for the first time in my life, eat healthily for life.
It is nearly 6:00 AM. Just so you know, it comes much slower when you fail to sleep, but it still shows up.
Have a great day and thank you for reading!
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
193.5 - 2 pounds!
193.5 This morning. It actually kind of annoys me. When you do what is healthy and right, it just works. The annoyance is how many times do I have to have that lesson!
Food: Yesterday I started with my green shake, just a simple and fast breakfast. Had 3 diet cokes... for lunch I had a small (about 3 oz) steak that I warmed up in the microwave at work. We cook them on the weekend and then put them in baggies and in the freezer. Then I grab them on the way out the door. Dinner were bean burgers courtesy of Sandi (going to miss her when she leaves!) They did not look too tasty but were. Throughout the day and in the evening I had about 6 small oranges, really small, about the size of a tennis ball. And I drink water throughout the day as I think of it.
Exercise...ya right. Well see we have company.. Um, I played with the grandkids... Well I spent a couple hours outside walking around with the horse and the kids. OK, that almost counts. At least I was moving.
Mood: Great! One of my favorite stories is of a lady in a rest home being interviewed on her 100th birthday. The reporter asked her about how she always seemed to be in a good mood even with medical issues and so forth and asked how she could always be so happy. The lady thought for a minute and said "Well, I pretend I am in a good mood till noon, and the rest of the day just takes care of itself!" She was not suffering from depression but did have what all of us have to deal with, life. Sometimes we just need to move through it. Again, that is NOT talking about depression.
I was talking to Sandi about the weight thing. She is also losing weight, nearly 20 pounds at this point and feeling great! And she had an interesting and true comment. She said "It is easy, I have never really tried to lose weight before. I just was not willing to give up the things I wanted to eat because I liked it too much! Now, I want to be healthy and I know those things I loved to eat, were actually harming me."
She is my daughter. I had to have a change of thinking. Of what I thought was "good".
Food: Yesterday I started with my green shake, just a simple and fast breakfast. Had 3 diet cokes... for lunch I had a small (about 3 oz) steak that I warmed up in the microwave at work. We cook them on the weekend and then put them in baggies and in the freezer. Then I grab them on the way out the door. Dinner were bean burgers courtesy of Sandi (going to miss her when she leaves!) They did not look too tasty but were. Throughout the day and in the evening I had about 6 small oranges, really small, about the size of a tennis ball. And I drink water throughout the day as I think of it.
Exercise...ya right. Well see we have company.. Um, I played with the grandkids... Well I spent a couple hours outside walking around with the horse and the kids. OK, that almost counts. At least I was moving.
Mood: Great! One of my favorite stories is of a lady in a rest home being interviewed on her 100th birthday. The reporter asked her about how she always seemed to be in a good mood even with medical issues and so forth and asked how she could always be so happy. The lady thought for a minute and said "Well, I pretend I am in a good mood till noon, and the rest of the day just takes care of itself!" She was not suffering from depression but did have what all of us have to deal with, life. Sometimes we just need to move through it. Again, that is NOT talking about depression.
I was talking to Sandi about the weight thing. She is also losing weight, nearly 20 pounds at this point and feeling great! And she had an interesting and true comment. She said "It is easy, I have never really tried to lose weight before. I just was not willing to give up the things I wanted to eat because I liked it too much! Now, I want to be healthy and I know those things I loved to eat, were actually harming me."
She is my daughter. I had to have a change of thinking. Of what I thought was "good".
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
1 day 1 pound
195.5. Wow, yesterday was more difficult than I expected. I have been really eating everything in site and decided to go back to my "No Carbs!". Talk about addiction! Now understand, veggies and fruit have carbs and those I do eat. What I am talking about is bread, donuts, chocolate, lots of sugar and so forth.
So yesterday I had the green shake in the morning, chicken salad for lunch and Sandi (daughter) is visiting and made a very yummy Pumpkin soup for dinner. I also had a couple of banana's and a couple oranges. I had to go to Walmart and was quite shocked at how difficult it was to avoid the cookies, candy bars and so forth. Kept thinking about them, kept wandering into those areas and really had to decide I did NOT want them.
The more I travel this road, the more I understand that for me, it truly is an addiction. And people with an addiction cannot be a "social drinker" or in my case, a "social carb eater". I don't stop. One simple thing leads to more and more. I know it sound stupid, but I find it nearly impossible to stop myself. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to admit a donut or candy bar has power over me??? At this point in my life, you would think I had a bit more will power than that.
The other part that is a continued revelation is I truly must over eat to maintain my heavier weight. Yesterday I had 4 large bananas. Purchased at Walmart. Figured it was better than a chocolate bar. Any of you know that you should avoid, or at least go easy on the bananas! I had 4 large ones. Still lost an entire pound. Likely would have been more if I had skipped them all together.
Facebook - I miss posting on it. At least a couple people would "like" a comment. Felt less like I was talking to a wall, like maybe someone out there listened. There is not a "like" on this. So please comment! The goal was to help myself, but also others going through the same thing. I stopped Facebook for this because my posts are so very long and I wanted to go even more into what was going on with this journey. Just did not feel like the right place to lay it all out on Facebook.
Depression - It has lifted. I still feel the effect. Mostly because I feel so much better, just not feeling so low. This is a pretty common routine in my life. When hormones were still a big factor in my life, this happened several times a year. Now not nearly so often. This one was slow coming on, but looking back I can see it started in December. That is when my daughter told us they were moving to Nampa. And she had the nerve to take her children too! 5 hours away. Very grateful it is not further. Other things piled on and it was more difficult to shake things off.
It got more and more difficult to function. To handle basic things. I did function, always handled everything that HAD to be handled. But no more. February I took a business trip. Found depression helps you be a total flake too! Lost my wallet (found it thankfully), forgot a lot of things that I should not have forgotten.
My poor husband, he sure deals with a lot. He never says a word. March things just kept getting darker and worse. I don't know why I don't see things as clearly when it is going on. It might help. I have taken an anti depressant in the past and it helped. But this has to hang on a very long time for me to go down that road. It was getting close this time. I had actually thought of it, just another thing I did not get around to.
So what makes it lift? What makes it go away? No idea. Nothing I do. Nothing I don't do. It just happens. The only exception was the medication. I have read that studies show medication only helps very severe depression. Hmm. Placebo effect? Is my depression severe? I don't know.
Usually what happens is I get fed up and start doing SOMETHING! Just decide I have had it and am done. What I don't know is if that happens because I am starting to come out of it or if that makes me come out of it. I know all this already. And yet, in the middle of all this, I find it impossible to short circuit things and get out of it sooner. I don't have the answer.
What is encouraging to me, even in depression is the fact that I keep trying. I keep going. Sometimes that "going" is just existing through the day. Hoping tomorrow is a better day. I have become kinder to myself. Understanding that I am not "Lazy", "Worthless" or "No Good". This is an actual medical problem. I have allergies too, does not make me a failure. It helps that Ron does not condemn me. He also does not "enable" me. I have to do things for myself. That saves me I think. Otherwise it would be way too easy to crawl into a dark hole and never come out.
So yesterday I had the green shake in the morning, chicken salad for lunch and Sandi (daughter) is visiting and made a very yummy Pumpkin soup for dinner. I also had a couple of banana's and a couple oranges. I had to go to Walmart and was quite shocked at how difficult it was to avoid the cookies, candy bars and so forth. Kept thinking about them, kept wandering into those areas and really had to decide I did NOT want them.
The more I travel this road, the more I understand that for me, it truly is an addiction. And people with an addiction cannot be a "social drinker" or in my case, a "social carb eater". I don't stop. One simple thing leads to more and more. I know it sound stupid, but I find it nearly impossible to stop myself. Do you have any idea how humiliating it is to admit a donut or candy bar has power over me??? At this point in my life, you would think I had a bit more will power than that.
The other part that is a continued revelation is I truly must over eat to maintain my heavier weight. Yesterday I had 4 large bananas. Purchased at Walmart. Figured it was better than a chocolate bar. Any of you know that you should avoid, or at least go easy on the bananas! I had 4 large ones. Still lost an entire pound. Likely would have been more if I had skipped them all together.
Facebook - I miss posting on it. At least a couple people would "like" a comment. Felt less like I was talking to a wall, like maybe someone out there listened. There is not a "like" on this. So please comment! The goal was to help myself, but also others going through the same thing. I stopped Facebook for this because my posts are so very long and I wanted to go even more into what was going on with this journey. Just did not feel like the right place to lay it all out on Facebook.
Depression - It has lifted. I still feel the effect. Mostly because I feel so much better, just not feeling so low. This is a pretty common routine in my life. When hormones were still a big factor in my life, this happened several times a year. Now not nearly so often. This one was slow coming on, but looking back I can see it started in December. That is when my daughter told us they were moving to Nampa. And she had the nerve to take her children too! 5 hours away. Very grateful it is not further. Other things piled on and it was more difficult to shake things off.
It got more and more difficult to function. To handle basic things. I did function, always handled everything that HAD to be handled. But no more. February I took a business trip. Found depression helps you be a total flake too! Lost my wallet (found it thankfully), forgot a lot of things that I should not have forgotten.
My poor husband, he sure deals with a lot. He never says a word. March things just kept getting darker and worse. I don't know why I don't see things as clearly when it is going on. It might help. I have taken an anti depressant in the past and it helped. But this has to hang on a very long time for me to go down that road. It was getting close this time. I had actually thought of it, just another thing I did not get around to.
So what makes it lift? What makes it go away? No idea. Nothing I do. Nothing I don't do. It just happens. The only exception was the medication. I have read that studies show medication only helps very severe depression. Hmm. Placebo effect? Is my depression severe? I don't know.
Usually what happens is I get fed up and start doing SOMETHING! Just decide I have had it and am done. What I don't know is if that happens because I am starting to come out of it or if that makes me come out of it. I know all this already. And yet, in the middle of all this, I find it impossible to short circuit things and get out of it sooner. I don't have the answer.
What is encouraging to me, even in depression is the fact that I keep trying. I keep going. Sometimes that "going" is just existing through the day. Hoping tomorrow is a better day. I have become kinder to myself. Understanding that I am not "Lazy", "Worthless" or "No Good". This is an actual medical problem. I have allergies too, does not make me a failure. It helps that Ron does not condemn me. He also does not "enable" me. I have to do things for myself. That saves me I think. Otherwise it would be way too easy to crawl into a dark hole and never come out.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Slow Start
196.5. OK, Slow start, but I did exercise. A few leg things, a little running in place and weights. PITIFUL! It is a start and that is more than I have done. I did get up at 7:30. That needs to improve and will.
Today the plan is to eat correctly again. I have mentioned before that carbs are like booze to an alcoholic for me. And just like that, I tend to go straight there when stressed or depressed. So I am actually quite happy I did not gain more than I did. And I am thrilled that I stopped as fast as I did. Improvements. Small, but still improvements.
I am still saddle sore. Not as enjoyable as when I was 8. It still makes me smile even as I hobble around first thing in the morning.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
First day of the Rest of my life!
195.5. It would have been 196.5 but I went back to bed! Today I am going to eat whatever I feel like and do what I want. Starting tomorrow on getting serious about this. And I am serious. I am excited! Happy! Oh man, if you have never fought with depression, say a prayer of thankfulness. I am thankful mine is not worse than it is. I am very grateful that the sun came out and I am once again, feeling good.
It is 67 degrees, sunny, beautiful and I am glad to be alive! I am a bit sore. Rode my horse yesterday in a lesson. Wow, have not been on a horse prior to June in many years! Saddle sore is good (as long as you can still walk). I remember when I was a little girl, I LOVED being saddle sore! It meant it was spring and I was riding horses! I have always been a little bit strange I guess.
OK, going out on a major limb here. I need your help to keep me accountable.... Do I really want to do this... It is a bit scary....
I am going to exercise in the morning! I want those sore muscles. They tell you that you are alive and improving! I don't know if it was depression, too much weight or what, but until now, this would not have happened. It is time. Keep me on track.
I also need your help with my business! Selling Real Estate. I am nearly out of listings and need more. Along with your help to keep me on track with the exercise, please help me be accountable for improving my business! I will post how many calls/personal contacts I make 5 days a week. My goal is 20 per day. And if you know of anyone thinking of buying or selling, please contact me! 208-403-5800 or lani@ida.net! That will be a contact!
I will also share a major goal and a major shift in my life. Please excuse this if I shared it before. But it is life changing for me. Never have we had a family vacation. All those folks who went once a year, went to Disney land and so forth, not something even possible in my mind. And we never one time did it.
So I made a major leap and decided to take all the kids and the grand kids to Disney Land next year! My first dream was on a cruise. That ended abruptly when I figured out it would be about $5,000 per person with air fare and so forth. At this point, we are talking 13 people with the spouses and grand kids. So we settled on Disney Land. Ron asked me earlier this month if we would ever take the kids and grand kids to Lagoon. I told him if he had come up with that question a few months ago, it could have saved us thousands! After looking at the real costs involved I figured I need an extra $10,000 in the bank for this trip. (Large gulp). Anyone remember what the Real Estate business is doing?
Something that was very humbling and still makes me cry. I was not going to tell the kids. I was afraid they would roll their eyes and pretty much say "we will believe it when we see it". I was afraid. However, my excitement at such a huge deal got the best of me and I told them. Their reaction was they started planning! Not a doubt, not a laugh, nothing but doing what they need to do to make their part work! Wow!!!!
So this I share with you. We tend to under value who we are and who we are to our family. STOP IT!
The only person in this world stopping me (you) from accomplishing anything I (you) want, is me (you). That is including Disney Land, weight loss, job improvement, better family relations, you add what you want.
It is 67 degrees, sunny, beautiful and I am glad to be alive! I am a bit sore. Rode my horse yesterday in a lesson. Wow, have not been on a horse prior to June in many years! Saddle sore is good (as long as you can still walk). I remember when I was a little girl, I LOVED being saddle sore! It meant it was spring and I was riding horses! I have always been a little bit strange I guess.
OK, going out on a major limb here. I need your help to keep me accountable.... Do I really want to do this... It is a bit scary....
I am going to exercise in the morning! I want those sore muscles. They tell you that you are alive and improving! I don't know if it was depression, too much weight or what, but until now, this would not have happened. It is time. Keep me on track.
I also need your help with my business! Selling Real Estate. I am nearly out of listings and need more. Along with your help to keep me on track with the exercise, please help me be accountable for improving my business! I will post how many calls/personal contacts I make 5 days a week. My goal is 20 per day. And if you know of anyone thinking of buying or selling, please contact me! 208-403-5800 or lani@ida.net! That will be a contact!
I will also share a major goal and a major shift in my life. Please excuse this if I shared it before. But it is life changing for me. Never have we had a family vacation. All those folks who went once a year, went to Disney land and so forth, not something even possible in my mind. And we never one time did it.
So I made a major leap and decided to take all the kids and the grand kids to Disney Land next year! My first dream was on a cruise. That ended abruptly when I figured out it would be about $5,000 per person with air fare and so forth. At this point, we are talking 13 people with the spouses and grand kids. So we settled on Disney Land. Ron asked me earlier this month if we would ever take the kids and grand kids to Lagoon. I told him if he had come up with that question a few months ago, it could have saved us thousands! After looking at the real costs involved I figured I need an extra $10,000 in the bank for this trip. (Large gulp). Anyone remember what the Real Estate business is doing?
Something that was very humbling and still makes me cry. I was not going to tell the kids. I was afraid they would roll their eyes and pretty much say "we will believe it when we see it". I was afraid. However, my excitement at such a huge deal got the best of me and I told them. Their reaction was they started planning! Not a doubt, not a laugh, nothing but doing what they need to do to make their part work! Wow!!!!
So this I share with you. We tend to under value who we are and who we are to our family. STOP IT!
The only person in this world stopping me (you) from accomplishing anything I (you) want, is me (you). That is including Disney Land, weight loss, job improvement, better family relations, you add what you want.
Starting after Depression
Confession time. K guys, I have a problem. The good news is a few years ago I finally understood I was not "lazy & no good", but I do go through some very real depression at times. Not as bad as some people suffer with. I still manage to function and few people could tell anything was going on. But I do have it. It is really nice that for me, at this stage of my life, it is the exception and not the rule.
This last couple weeks it hit me pretty hard. Harder than it has in many years. Feelings of complete uselessness. Sleeping very late. Unable to do really simple things. I always manage to get done what I have to get done, but nothing extra. And there is more than a small amount of self destruction going on. Again, I am very blessed. Mine consisted of eating poorly instead of what some have to deal with.
So the bottom line is last I weighed, it was 195. That was not today. I have turned a corner and managed to get up 2 days in a row before 8 am. So Sunday I start again! The cool thing is it is not at 250, 225, or even 200. Well at least I hope it is not 200.
My good husband has always been supportive. He has always been there no matter what. He was this time too. My kids have always been incredible. Can't have more blessings than tha! I do think I will set up a blog so this does not cram up facebook. Then anyone who cares can follow it.
I also plan on getting even more personal with my feelings, what I am doing, how hard it is or easy it is and so forth.
Thank you so much for all your support and caring. I think what that really says is even today, in this very complex world with some very horrible things happening, you know, the stuff all over any news channel. Even in this world, there are so many really good, caring and giving people. I just happen to have run into more than my share!
This last couple weeks it hit me pretty hard. Harder than it has in many years. Feelings of complete uselessness. Sleeping very late. Unable to do really simple things. I always manage to get done what I have to get done, but nothing extra. And there is more than a small amount of self destruction going on. Again, I am very blessed. Mine consisted of eating poorly instead of what some have to deal with.
So the bottom line is last I weighed, it was 195. That was not today. I have turned a corner and managed to get up 2 days in a row before 8 am. So Sunday I start again! The cool thing is it is not at 250, 225, or even 200. Well at least I hope it is not 200.
My good husband has always been supportive. He has always been there no matter what. He was this time too. My kids have always been incredible. Can't have more blessings than tha! I do think I will set up a blog so this does not cram up facebook. Then anyone who cares can follow it.
I also plan on getting even more personal with my feelings, what I am doing, how hard it is or easy it is and so forth.
Thank you so much for all your support and caring. I think what that really says is even today, in this very complex world with some very horrible things happening, you know, the stuff all over any news channel. Even in this world, there are so many really good, caring and giving people. I just happen to have run into more than my share!
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