201 Merry Christmas!

3 days of Holiday eating, 6 pounds weight gain. I feel bloated, my joint ache. My husband is the worse condition I have seen him in many many months.  All for some bad food. It was "yummy", but in retrospect, not even close to being worth it!

That is ok. Today is another day and sticking to eating correctly, for me at least, will be easy. The food that I have loved to such high weights, is not even a little tempting.  My favorite, the pumpkin pie, is still sitting on the counter, two pies worth. Not interested.

The 6 pounds was totally worth having this feeling.  It is not so much about 3 days, although one would have been much better. It is about not doing that eating for a lifetime.

194.5

I actually hit 195 a couple days ago. About 3. But did not get around to posting it. Then it is exciting the first day, but not the 2nd and 3rd day. So today was 194.5 and made me smile. 4.5 pounds to go to hit my goal for this month. And today is the 19th.  A week and a half....may not quite get there.

I am finding the fudge that Ron makes quite difficult to resist. But I do manage to. I have not had a full piece. I have grabbed a couple crumbs, but not more than 3 total.  I guess getting through this season without gaining weight, let alone losing it, is quite an accomplishment!

195.5

Yea! A full pound today!

I find myself looking forward to all kinds of things that I did not before.  In my family, my kind, sweet, loving, talented husband has done all the cooking for years. In fact, going on 20 years.

For some reason, now after all these years, I am looking forward to finding healthy meal choices and making them.  This is a HUGE deal!

I also tried on pants today. Some of the larger ones are going out the door! There is only 1 pair left of pants too small for me to wear. The rest of my closet is beginning to  change too.

This feels great!  I have no doubt I will continue until I meet my goal.

1 day at a time

Today was 196.5.

It is always a bit of a surprise when the scale moves down a little, and so dissapointing when it stays put or moves up.

I am very happy with this eating plan. Not feeling hungry or deprived. Staying on track pretty darn good too.  I can see that 160 goal getting closer! (See December 3rd)

Really funny how much less 36.5 pounds seem to lose than 40 pounds! Also, just a very short time ago, at 221.5, it was 61.5 pounds and I could not even dare to think I could get there!  So 25 pounds since November 2nd. 58.5 from my highest weight of 255.  Pretty fantastic.

In the mean time, I am just living my life, as I should be. Just working and living and enjoying.

I watch Biggest Loser at times. One of my daughters is a big fan of Australia's Biggest Loser on Youtube.  I also have watched Extreme Weight Loss.  I am always a little shocked how they lose some weight and start wearing clothing that they would look much better not wearing.  So I am trying to be careful not to make the same mistake!

You just feel so good losing some weight! Being smaller than you were.  So in your eyes, WOW! You look great in those clothes!!!  But in reality, not yet.  But clothes are fitting better. Larger items are going to the thrift store. I don't need to buy clothes yet as I have plenty in my closet that "use to fit".

So 1 day at a time. Those days add up into weeks and months and years. Doing the right thing one day at a time will add up to a healthy weight. Just as doing the wrong thing added up to 255 pounds.

So who's day can you brighten today?

Plateau Broken!

197.0! OK, I was stuck at 198.5 for what seemed like FOREVER! But looking back at the last post, only 4 days.

Behaving myself and sticking to business. I was hoping to reach 190 by the end of the month. That is not that big of a deal unless you realize Christmas and company are between now and the end of the month.

Plus....FUDGE SEASON! Ron (husband) makes awesome fudge. It is our major deal we do at Christmas. And that works really well since he does all the work and I get some of the glory!  Well last year fudge season netted me a little more than +10 pounds with Christmas, Christmas parties and way too many goodies thrown in!

Today will not have any temptations. Seems we had an unwanted visitor recently.  A mouse came to stay. We do not know where the little stinker is. But evidence is way too plentiful. So I am cleaning and sanitizing my food cupboards today.  No food cravings today!

198.5 35 days

OK, 198.5 today. Started November 2nd. That is 35 days and 23 pounds. Not too shabby.  I have also lost about 2 inches on most areas I measure.

I have not been exercising. Wanted to wait till I adjusted to the eating habits and got under 200 pounds. So this next week I will start with just 5 minutes a day and add to it.

I was thinking, long ago I was at 255. That was several years ago, but I was still there. So being down to 198 is a pretty big deal. I have already lost 56.5 pounds.  My initial goal to reach is no longer the 180 I thought about a year or two ago, but is now 160. And I may even change that to 150 as I get closer.

I am not kidding myself. 23 pounds in 35 days will not be repeated in the next 30 days. But I am counting on maybe 12-15. The closer I get to the goal, the slower it will go.  But that is where the exercise comes in. It starts putting my body back in the healthy shape it needs. It gives me more energy and more drive to make the goal.

Fudge season is upon us. Ron makes incredible fudge. It is usually worth gaining 10-15 pounds.  Next 30 days will be interesting!

Goodbye forever 200's!

199.5!

Hello "One-derfuls"!  And that is with two Christmas parties this week!

Here We Go Again

200 even. Got clear up to 221.5 again. That was November 2nd. Today is December 3rd and I am 200.  This time I am going all the way. My initial goal was met today, 200. My goal for next month is 190. I should surpass it. My ultimate goal is 160. Right now that seems not possible. I know it is, but not all the way! At 255, it seemed impossible.  

It is so funny, if it were not for the health part, weight is so much about perception! I am sure I seem huge, even 55 pounds lighter to most people. But to me, I feel, well, skinny!  I know I am not. But compared to where I was, skinny.

The health part is really the number one priority. Extra weight kills. It also makes life a lot less fun. I have less energy. Feel worse about myself. Hate the way I look in or out of clothes! At this point, I am really surprised (again) at how much more energy I have.

How am I doing it? Medifast is what is working for me. One of the biggest issues I had was not having time to eat. So I would have breakfast, and either get hungry during the day and eat something bad. Or I would go all day and get home and just binge! Even taking a lunch rarely helped because of all the running around I do.

With this, I eat 5 meals a day that consist of something from Medifast. Then one meal of a lean protein and veggies. I can have that meal whenever I want.  I don't get hungry at all!  The meals available are quite varied, from shakes and granola type bars to soups, main course type meals and even brownies and cookies! The deal is, the right food to start with and controlled portions.  What really works for me is the bars I can carry in my purse and no matter what is going on, I can grab one and have one of those 5 meals.

As I have written before, I am sure I have a "bad" carb addiction. When I have one, I am in big trouble and it triggers binge eating that can last for months.  Healthy carbs do not cause that.

We even went to a Christmas party last night and I still lost a pound today! I just ate the protein and the salads. It was awesome! I did not even feel deprived and really enjoyed the meal.

Medifast was at one time Dr. supervised. Now you can do it on your own. You still get a Health Coach, no additional charge. They are awesome with help, hints and answering any questions.  Mine are Gary and Deon Fisher. The website is www.exfatty.tsfl.com . 

210!!!

210 and YEA!!! It always feels good to break through a plateau.

I went back and forth between 213 and 211 for what seems like an eternity. I did feel a little bit of the old "when will I lose this" come back. But I knew as long as I held the course I would be fine.

What is typical when I hit something like that is when I really look at what I am doing, I am falling down on the job at some point.  In this case, stopped drinking as much water as I should and had not been eating enough fruits and vegetables.

Ron is sailing away and down to 232!  He was clear up at 255. He is looking and feeling better all the time.

Slow so slow

211

Hmmm. Floating around 211-213 and back and forth. Obviously I need to do something a little different to get going again.

Maybe drink the water I should be drinking! That certainly won't hurt!

Children's Munchies

213.5!!!

I am very blessed to have great kids and fantastic Grand Kids! I am sure you feel the same way...unless you are not yet here.

I got to go to my daughters for a couple days. She just had a lovely little baby girl. That adds to the 5 yr old girl and 2 yr old boy they already have.

I was concerned about being away from home for that long and totally out of control of what I eat. I lost weight and feel great!

I took some stuff to make my green drink. Ron had made some great blueberry muffins (the sawdust ones). And I ate what my daughter (got up and cooked) for dinner. Luckily, she is a good cook and a healthy cook.  I was not hungry. I did not crave anything and it was not nearly as traumatic as I thought it would be.

All these years I thought I lacked will power, just destined to be heavy. Now I find out that the food I have grown up eating, was causing cravings and all kinds of havoc with my system.  Start eating right and you feel full and satisfied without the cravings! Ron has noticed this too.

Another funny thing. I am not panicked about the weight. It will come off at a good and healthy rate because I am eating well. What a concept!

Step by step

216 today. Little by little, step by step.

The big news is how we are changing in our thinking. There have been several times in the last two weeks that in the past, I would have binged into things real big. Instead, I have looked for something to chew on that was less damaging, carrots, fruit, lots of water.

When I have been in the store and habit would have be pick up a candy bar or circus animal cookies (a favorite), I would think, "no, I want only healthy things for myself". Now that is HUGE! Because I did NOT say "I can't have that". One is being deprived, the other is making a good choice!!!!!

Ron and I are doing this together. Not impossible to do it alone. But it really helps to have someone on the same path, same mind set. When he said he would not mind ice cream. I said, no, not what we are doing, you don't really want it do you? And he did not. When we went to see a movie yesterday and I asked if he wanted popcorn, because I did, he did the same, No, you don't really want it do you? And no, for a second, a very dangerous second, yes, but long term, absolutely not!

The rewards have been surprising and most welcome. I can't even remember what I was back up to. Being down, feels good. Not been hungry or grouchy because I am on a restricted diet once. In fact, I am feeling better every day. Having more energy and have been emerging from the dark cloud of minor depression.

Ron was up to 255. He is down to 241 today!!!! Yesterday was the best day physically and mentally that he has had in many months. And I do believe that eating correctly and dropping the weight is a big part of it.

I firmly believe that making this change, losing weight and becoming healthy, is a very personal thing. No one can force you to do it. If you are like me, you don't really think it can happen. Once you decide, even without support, you CAN do it! It is all inside of you (me).

I took a training called "Bold". It was to improve not only your business, but your life. It has been the single most productive thing I have ever done. One thing they told us about is our negative "self talk". They gave it a name, likely one others have used. Called it "your drunk monkey". It is your drunk monkey on your shoulder telling you you can't, you don't deserve it, it will never work. Swat that feller off your shoulder! I still find mine climbing back up and whispering, sometimes yelling in my ear. Why would I listen to a monkey, let alone a drunk monkey and let it control my life? Why would you???

Some people have someone in their lives who is a drunk monkey, full grown, living, breathing and so destructive. I did. I promise you this person had no idea what they were doing. Would swear I was wrong. That person is not in my life anymore. I would never have made that decision, they did. I was slowly getting to the point that I could limit the damage that was being done. I would have continued down that path. They may come back someday, it is a pattern. If they do, I will continue with how I handle that. A little stronger for the rest. It became easier to deal with when I understood that even though they are not in a hospital, they are truly mentally ill and have been their entire life. So, not really all their fault for what they do. It however IS my fault if I let that destroy me or my family. This person is family. So if you have someone close like that, I really do understand.

You CAN do it! If you don't have someone in your life that is telling you this, then join here with me. Gain strength from my struggles and my successes. Truly if I can do it, anyone can do it.

Have an awesome and healthy day!

And...

216.5 Little by little. Sometimes up a half. All is good.

Eating is just plain easy when you prepare. I do get a little stressed when I don't have things planned out! It will get to be more of a habit as time goes on.

I did learn I do NOT like curly Kale. More bitter and tougher than the plain stuff.

Hi 217!

217 today. Hi old temp friend! I have seen you quite a few times! Going up I hate you, coming down, you are a welcome site. You are once again a welcome site!

OK. 217. Nice to get past those main number goals, like 220. My next number is 216, but the biggy will be 210, then 199. Yep I know, but 199 is infinitely a nicer number than 200. As Mosses Kinikini says, "You are in the 'one-der-fulls'"!

**Mental:  Once again I am "shocked" by how "eating Healthy" as opposed to "dieting" changes everything! I do not have cravings!!!  The body knows what it needs. When it is not being affected by bad chemicals and crap, it is satisfied with just healthy food!!!

We drove over 10 hours on Thursday to attend the birth of our 21st grand child, Bellana Lynn.  It was awesome! A trip like that normally involves, chocolate, lots of diet cokes, Doritos and many other items like that. Also the traditional breakfast at McDonald's in Chubback.

Instead the car was full of 1. lots of water 2. oranges 3. carrots 4. veggies 5. specially made blueberry muffins 6. Fruit drinks, just frozen fruit without sugar with a scoup of protein powder put in the blender. We were stuffed! The blue berry muffins came from that book I mentioned in the last post and are make with rice flour instead of wheat flour and no added refined anything.

Normally, with water gain and fat gain a trip like that is 3-5 pounds of gain. I went up 1/2 the next morning and was down 1.5 the next day. Excellent!

**Proud moments: I did not eat or even want to eat the waffles that Ron fixed for the visiting grand kids.  When we went to a massive flea market, complete with all those wonderful smelling vendors, I was not even tempted to get a scone, doughnut or any of those other things I usually really love. I did not want a diet coke on that trip. Truth is, once you are off that stuff for a bit, it tastes quite nasty when you drink it again. And the other truth is, I have forced myself past that taste repeatedly.

**Surprises:
1. How my tastes are changing so fast. This morning, I made my green drink and added a little extra protein powder to it. The powder adds a little more taste to it.  It was TOO SWEET! A drink with spinach and kale and two frozen non sweetened strawberries was too sweet!!!!  The muffins and other rice flour things Ron has made tasted like sawdust at first. Now they taste good. Also, they are not causing any binge on carbs or the cravings. So the "right" carbs are awesome!
2. Again, how fast and easy the weight goes off when you are eating right.
3. How much better I feel. And it is really funny, because I did NOT feel better at 217 going up, I felt horrible both mentally and physically.
4. How much happier I am when I am doing what is good for myself.

**Exercising: Not a bit. It is a habit just like all the rest. I need to do it for a couple reasons. First, it helps with where I want to go, be healthier. Second, it gives me more incentive to stay on track. If I work THAT HARD at something, I am NOT going to let some piece of bad food mess it up for me!

**Truths:
1. You need to be in the right place mentally.  Ready to do this.
2. Preparation is required. Getting rid of the bad foods in the house. Planning your meals. Finding a healthy, (not fad) way to eat. And having everything available.
3. It is way easier if it is the entire house that is eating the same! Now most people will not have this situation. You would have to slowly change they way your family/spouse eats. Swap out one thing for another. That would have been very difficult for me. Truth is, I am a binge type person, not a slow and steady type. But the other truth is, when I have had a difficult situation with a spouse in this area (prior to Ron), I actually did slowly make some changes, sneakily made some changes to healthier eating in DIRECT opposition to my spouse, and he did not notice and neither did the little kids. He was really ticked later when he found out, but when he tried to go back to the old stuff he had insisted not having before....he did not like it!!!! So sneaky is work but it works. And remember, it is for all of their health!

**What I am doing:
1. Breakfast- Best is the Green drink. Lots of ideas on the web. Dr Oz green drink is one. I like to keep it simple. Baby spinach or Kale. Most advocate buying or growing "organic". I get that when I can, although it is quite expensive and hard to find. Right now I figure green is good. I stuff it into a magic bullet about 3/4 full. Then 2-3 frozen not sweetened strawberries. Water a little more than half way up. Then 1 scoop of protein powder. I get it from Walmart. The whey stuff that is around $15 for a huge container. Make sure to get the vanilla.  Then I blend it and drink it.  The spinach/kale has nearly no taste at all. The strawberries, or other fruit is the sweetener and then get a good protein powder. And there are literally hundreds out there. That usually really holds me till at least noon. And even then I am not real hungry. You can put in all kinds of stuff. Just play with it!

If I can't have the drink, I will have an egg or two. It is faster. If I am really in a hurry, I have several canned protein drinks I can grab.

2. Lunch- Salad. I can make one and take it. No cheese or croutons or dressing. If you put the right stuff on it, you don't need dressing. I put tuna on sometimes, sometimes not. Lots of greens, tomatoes, pile it on!
If I eat out, Salads with no dressing or at least dressing on the side.  I also love steak, or a grilled chicken breast. I just tell them "no sides".

3. Dinner- Ron usually cooks up pork chops, steak, some protein and broccoli, or cauliflower.  Sometimes we have a huge salad with shrimp or crab.

Fruit, we have it as snacks and with any and all meals. The goal is 9-12 servings of fruit and veggies per day. About half and half. So we throw in apples, bananas,  pears, etc. Whatever looks good. Also love watermelons, any of the melons. Just what is available. Not really a bad 'natural state' fruit!

Veggies, we also have baggies of cut up carrots, cauliflower and broccoli in the fridge in baggies for that mindless snacking I tend to do. At night we usually have a couple oranges because they are good right now.

******Disclaimer*******
What I am doing is not what you should be doing. It is what we are choosing to do at this time based on what we have been reading. There are thousands of "diets" available to follow. The fact is, any way of eating that reduces your calories will eventually lead to weight loss. I don't want just weight loss. I want health. I also want a "doable" way to live my life from here on out. And I will never again do something just to lose weight at the risk of my health.

So do some research. Find a way to eat that you are willing to try. The way I was living and eating was leading to diabetes, poor health, a lousy quality of life and an early death. So I am taking drastic and permanent action. I am very blessed that Ron is in the same boat and chooses to take this path with me. Steve, our adult son who is living with us this summer, is not eating the same. That is ok. When he is ready, he will make his own decisions. For now, this is right for us.

Have a great day! And if you read down to here, you deserve a medal!

Is it a Failure or is it a Step?

Zig Zigglar said:  "Most people who fail in their dream fail not from lack of ability but from lack of commitment."

I love listening to recordings of Zig. You cannot listen to him and feel bad, not possible.

It has been a long time. I failed. Gained back a lot of weight and as of last week got clear back to 226 lbs. 

This will be a long rambling post, so for anyone reading this, the rest is for me, you can stop now.

I am down again to 219. Glad to be heading in the right direction.  

***First! My friend Greg Vinnola said something to me the other day that really hurt my feelings. I don't believe that was what was meant, so I forgive him. We were having a conversation and during it he said something along the lines that he knew I was not doing well on my weight anymore because I was no longer bragging on my blog.  Not an exact quote. May not be what he said, but it is what I heard.

I never started this to brag. It was a way to keep myself honest and to maybe inspire someone else to take that first step. The idea was, if I could do it, certainly anyone else could!  It was also a way to give myself a little more incentive, knowing there might be someone out there reading this. And they would know I was failing.  

I can get pretty hard on myself. I can have some incredible pity parties! I have been hard on myself all the way back up to 226 pounds! I don't even want to look, but I was down below 190 at one point.

***Second. I am not a failure. I am a success! I have lost weight. The deal is to incorporate a healthy lifestyle into my life and become healthy, strong and yes even happier. The healthy part is way more important than any number on a scale. And just to be clear, we are only talking about weight here. I feel that I am a "success in the making" in most other areas of my life. Doing well and making progress. In fact, if taken in context, I have done extremely well.

Zig also said "Failure is an event...not a person".  I failed. I am not a failure. 

****Third is the HOW and the things that I will overcome to reach my goal.  Hmmm, Goal... What is it? Is it a number on a scale? Is it a dress? Is it looking good in some of those fancy jeans?  Of course that is part of it! But it is not the real reason or goal. Those are some of the benefits ! My goal is to be able to jump on my horse bareback and not have to fight a roll of belly in the way. It is to run, not jog, but run a mile. I have never done that in my life. I think that is a good goal for this summer. My goal is to play with the grand kids and have fun, not be out of breath because I am 80 pounds overweight.  My goal is to live my life as healthily as possible.

Some additional benefits will be Ron's health. He has Parkinson's. One of the first things the Dr. told us was "your heart disease will kill you before the Parkinson's will". Yea...

What has changed: Me. Gary Keller is the owner of Keller Williams Realty. He is a very rich and very successful man.  I was at a class he was speaking to in February of this year. One of the things he said, that had nothing to do with the class was: "People need to think of eating like taking medicine. That is what food is, medicine to keep you healthy".  That statement really struck me. Food is not a reward or a comfort or a way to drown out pain, it is what is needed for your health. Wow.

HOW DO I DO IT??????? Well, how I plan on doing it is changing forever the way I first, think of food and second, eat and prepare food. It has to be a lifestyle or I will be here again and again and again. 

My sister sent me a book, Minding My Mitochondria 2nd Edition. It is a book written by a Dr. who has MS and was wheelchair bound and what she did to get out of it. Not a small part was eating healthily. And with it goes away many things that I held dear, like Diet soda, milk, breads, cakes, sugar, processed crap, all the things I really really love to eat!

It is not really so different than what I had going before. A bit more info on recipes. A lot more science. Even just eliminating the bad stuff is a big improvement, good medicine, not poison.  I started Sunday at 226. I have not "dieted", been the least bit hungry or felt deprived. This morning I weighed 219.5. Don't forget that ".5"! Ron was quite shocked 6.5 pounds came off in 2 days. I told him, "I have to really eat wrong to keep my weight so artificially high".

What has really been a pleasant surprise is I did not go through the caffeine & sugar withdrawal.  I expected a massive headache and some rather unpleasant moods. I can't swear about the moods, but I think I have been ok and no headaches at all.  I think it is because I replaced the garbage with really very good food. I mean healthy green stuff and Ron made some biscuits that I was sure he used sawdust for. But they were healthy!  We had quite a discussion. He said he would not make them again. I said that nothing we are looking at eating is going to really be tasty to us right now. But I bet in a month or two, we will feel quite different. 

I did warn him that the grand kids would likely starve rather than eat what we are eating.  We will have to figure that one out. Because this I know, if I am tempted for long, I tend to cave in, so the food cannot be in this house. So we will have to find some healthy stuff that even the kids will like.  That might be quite interesting.

Will keep you posted. 

1/25/2012 212.0

• 1/25/2013 212.0
• Water: Not as good as I should have done
• Exercise: none yesterday, today 5 minutes on Eliptical
• Down to 2 diet cokes
• Breakfast: Green Drink
• Lunch: about 10 little tootsie rolls and left over pork chop
• Dinner - Taco soup
• Snack - 2 oranges
• Emotions: Better, still on edge
• Misc. - 
• Too busy to think about anything, just flew through day.

I did not post yesterday, was up to 213 and was very busy. Feeling better today.

It is very important to me to be "real" here. That means telling the truth even when I hate it. I really want to let others know you are NOT alone! So many struggle with weight issues and other issues. Mine are many. Yet we function. We accomplish, we survive. And we raise good families and help other people. 

Hmmm. Take your own advice.

OK Lani, here it is. You are not perfect, not even close. You could list your faults by the hundreds, that is not productive. So start listing your good points.

I think first, I care about other people. They are important to me. More important than I am. I make it a goal to do "something" good for someone as often as I can in a day. Sometimes, in fact the majority of the time, it is simply saying the nice thought I just had about them out loud to them!

I know how I feel when someone says something nice about me. First shock, then denial. Then appreciation. It makes a difference to me, so I hope it makes a difference to others.

I am truly blessed with an incredible husband. (OK guys, here is the deal. Ron is not perfect. If I concentrate on his "Faults", very soon that is all I see. So I really concentrate and talk about all the good things about him. Then those things grow and we are all happy. So no, he is not a perfect person. Take a look at your own spouse like this and you might be very pleased.) 

Water weight

OK, just read and breath.

Yesterday the scale said 218. Can't remember, but that was either just the same or down a half. Monday I pretty much just flew through the day. But ate a big omelet for lunch and had a big dinner.

This morning it said 212. Way too much way too fast. Unless you get water weight. All the traveling I did, the Disney trip then the 5 hr drive on Sunday to get Zena, my ankles were Cankles (Calf to Ankle, one size) and my fingers were swollen.

Tells me two things: Too little movement and too much salt.

Today my ankles are back to normal as are my fingers. There may have been a pound of real weight loss in there, but really I don't care.

Going to try a little bit of a new format starting tomorrow. Today I will lay it out and hope I remember tomorrow.

Will do bullet points with the point! Then fill it in. If you are a headlines type of person, just read the first few words of the bullet point! For details, read the rest:

• 1/23/2013 212.0
• Drank a lot of water yesterday, at least met my minimum requirement
• Did not exercise
• Down to 2 diet cokes
• Breakfast Green Drink
• Lunch - left over pork chop
• Dinner - pork chop and cauliflower
• Snack - 2 fresh pears
• Emotions: Cranky - on edge. My family was thrilled.
• Misc. - Hair cut, maybe that was worth a pound
• Too busy to think about anything, just flew through day.

Here we go!

Happy January 21st!

Wow, up and down and up again. After Christmas I had "Blossomed" to 217.5.  Easily (stopped eating crap) dropped to 210. Went on vacation to Disneyland. Ate everything and anything. Came home at a lovely 220. Today I am 218.

Again, I cannot eat that sugar or processed stuff. It sends me right down the binge road! I joined Weight Watchers. Paid the money and that is about it. I need to learn to eat correctly, not crazy. I want to be healthy not sick or dead.

So today is the first day. "Today" is always the first day. Zig Zigglar always said "Failure is an event, not a person." So I am not a failure. In fact, I am a winner because I keep at it.

I realize my all or nothing personality is not a good thing with being a healthy sane person.

So today I got on the elliptical for 5 whole minutes! I realize that even though I hate the idea of exercise, I  always feel better when I am exercising. I also am tempted less to eat stupid stuff when I have put some work into anything. However, the idea of going for very long typically stops me from even starting.

So today was 5 minutes. I will add 1 minute a day.

Keep you posted!