Mental addiction

187.0  Started at 214 January 2nd. That is 27 pounds! Notice how long it has taken. Not anywhere near the time it took to get to my high weight times.

I have to thank Sandi. There have been several times I thought....well, I can slide today, I have been really good. Then I think about my skinny daughter taunting me "Ha Mom, I won!!!!" and I am good another day.

It gets easier every day. Does not mean that sometimes I don't want to sit down with a box of Ding Dongs and just pig out. Problem is, my system use to tolerate that kind of abuse because I had worked up to it over the years. If I try something like that now, I am sick for a day or two. Makes you wonder what it has cost me all those years.

I still don't understand fully why those temptations are still there. Or why I give in to them.  I feel better when I eat right. I feel better physically and emotionally. Again, because it is not dieting, not starving or depriving my body of the needed nutrients, just eating healthy.

When I do give in, I know it is self destructive while I am doing it, I know what it will do and what I will feel like. Yet still I feel powerless to do anything about it.  I think at this point it is habit and a bit of mental addiction. That was always my comfort food. So even now, when there is no "comfort" in it, I still revert.  The good news is that it happens less and less.

Food: Breakfast was the spinach shake. Till dinner I was busy, so the day consisted of multiple diet cokes, lots of fresh veggies, water and oranges. A couple bananas.  So I just snacked all day. Then my wonderful husband made pork chops and veggies for dinner.

Mood: A little stressed. Lots of things going on right now. But Paisley our Granddaughter is here and keeping what is important in life, in the front of our minds.

Exercise: Someday.

Homework: Be the reason someone smiles, even if it is just because you smiled at them.